Nudity really is our best option
July 26th, 2006 by Aabra
Matt was quite amused by the energy conservation tips being given on the news:
* “Set air conditioner thermostats to 78 degrees when home and 85 degrees when away.” We have a basement, no need for A/C. It’s so cool and silverfishy down here…
* “Empty and unplug extra refrigerators.” Who the fark has extra fri– oh, yeah. The same people with chainlink fences surrounding their six trucks, half of them on blocks in the front lawn. But enough about Matt’s upbringing. 
* “Close drapes and curtains during the hottest parts of the day.” Consider becoming a nudist as a motivator– clothes only make you feel warm anyway.
* “Use lighting sparingly. Bulbs, particularly incandescent bulbs, produce heat.” This is quite a good idea if you haven’t fully explained the nudism to your roommate.
* “Avoid using appliances such as dishwashers, clothes washers, and dryers until the evening hours, when the temperature begins to drop.” Oh my god, filthy hippies might actually help the environment!
* “If possible, avoid preparing hot meals in the kitchen during the day.” Oh, honey, the hottest thing I’m consuming right now are the bottles of Lagunitas that just came off the store shelf!
God, we’re a bunch of pigs. Billions of people make it with no electricity, but here we Americans are in our 3,000 square foot homes with three fridges and four TVs and two computers left on 24/7 “in case I neeeeeeed it!”, wondering why oh why the power keeps failing. Grumble grumble grumble, back to the silverfish-filled basement…
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* Wow, that didn’t take long– Lady in the Water spoiler is up. Who should be the judge for our twist contest? I’ll ask Mom. She might’ve seen it even– just for the air conditioning, I hope!
* Dotcom millionaires design electric car that uses lithium-ion batteries. It’ll go 250 miles on a charge!
* New study sheds light on the causes of sexual harassment and date rape: Men assume attractive women are attracted to them. The researchers thought that only a certain percentage of guys on first dates would overestimate their dates’ interest, but what really happened was, if the girl was pretty, the guy gave a higher rating to her interest, regardless of his attractiveness. Creepy.
* Something Awful’s Pamphy Awards honor achievements in operating photocopiers without opposable thumbs or frontal lobes. “The crystals are in the dog. You must open the dog. Where is the crystal? The crystals are all over inside the dog!”
* Naomi did one last batch of PotterPuffs last month, very nice of her. Neville/Luna (ain’t gonna happen!), Lockhart, and Sirius’ death:
* Really bad tattoos (NSFW, unless your boss likes fully tattooed penises.)
* If there’s anything more amusing than Comic Con cosplayer photos, I haven’t seen it.
Matt was quite amused by the energy conservation tips being given on the news:
* “Set air conditioner thermostats to 78 degrees when home and 85 degrees when away.” We have a basement, no need for A/C. It’s so cool and silverfishy down here…
* “Empty and unplug extra refrigerators.” Who the fark has extra fri– oh, yeah. The same people with chainlink fences surrounding their six trucks, half of them on blocks in the front lawn. But enough about Matt’s upbringing.
* “Close drapes and curtains during the hottest parts of the day.” Consider becoming a nudist as a motivator– clothes only make you feel warm anyway.
* “Use lighting sparingly. Bulbs, particularly incandescent bulbs, produce heat.” This is quite a good idea if you haven’t fully explained the nudism to your roommate.
* “Avoid using appliances such as dishwashers, clothes washers, and dryers until the evening hours, when the temperature begins to drop.” Oh my god, filthy hippies might actually help the environment!
* “If possible, avoid preparing hot meals in the kitchen during the day.” Oh, honey, the hottest thing I’m consuming right now are the bottles of Lagunitas that just came off the store shelf!
God, we’re a bunch of pigs. Billions of people make it with no electricity, but here we Americans are in our 3,000 square foot homes with three fridges and four TVs and two computers left on 24/7 “in case I neeeeeeed it!”, wondering why oh why the power keeps failing. Grumble grumble grumble, back to the silverfish-filled basement…
——————————————————
* Wow, that didn’t take long– Lady in the Water spoiler is up. Who should be the judge for our twist contest? I’ll ask Mom. She might’ve seen it even– just for the air conditioning, I hope!
* Dotcom millionaires design electric car that uses lithium-ion batteries. It’ll go 250 miles on a charge!
* New study sheds light on the causes of sexual harassment and date rape: Men assume attractive women are attracted to them. The researchers thought that only a certain percentage of guys on first dates would overestimate their dates’ interest, but what really happened was, if the girl was pretty, the guy gave a higher rating to her interest, regardless of his attractiveness. Creepy.
* Something Awful’s Pamphy Awards honor achievements in operating photocopiers without opposable thumbs or frontal lobes. “The crystals are in the dog. You must open the dog. Where is the crystal? The crystals are all over inside the dog!”
* Naomi did one last batch of PotterPuffs last month, very nice of her. Neville/Luna (ain’t gonna happen!), Lockhart, and Sirius’ death:
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* Really bad tattoos (NSFW, unless your boss likes fully tattooed penises.)
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* If there’s anything more amusing than Comic Con cosplayer photos, I haven’t seen it.
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