TofuPunk.com | Ich mag kleine Kuchen und Cheeseburgers

* This espresso drink infographic is awesome, but I fear Matt will die once he tries an Espresso con Panna… * If Edward Gorey had directed the Trouble With Tribbles episode. * Photoshop contest: If mimes ruled the world. * Realisticats are the opposite of LOLcats, but still pretty funny…

Tucker Carlson changes his story, drops the head-bashing bit, now claims he simply held his assailant ’til security guards arrived. Questions: * Who was the arresting officer? * Who was the friend? * In what precinct did this arrest occur? * What year– Were you underage? Was your attacker charged as a pedophile? * Have [...]

* AV Club reviews fall TV shows. Wow, not only are half of these based on British shows, but they’re nowripping off Canadian vampire shows. * The Owen Wilson suicide attempt story just got weirder as Steve Coogan threatens to sue Courtney Love for claiming he addicted Wilson to drugs. * Geek wedding cakes. Seriously, [...]

* John Edwards: No more Brownies! * Top 10 Iraq War profiteers. * Americans are fatter than ever. I’ll believe there’s a gas crisis when the “drive-thrus” close and bike lanes are clogged… * 90% of Vietnamese population returned to New Orleans. One success story, yay! * How to celebrate Labor Day: “If you eat [...]

* Will the Secret Service visit Ted Nugent for threatening the former first lady? If he’d threatened Bush online they would’ve bashed his door in. >:( * United Nations sez livestock business generates more greenhouse gas emissions than all forms of transportation combined. * My new fav phrase: Heh heh, we do love buying our [...]

* Fall movie guide with lots of trailer links. * Owen Wilson’s recent suicide attempt might make him uninsurable, ala Lindsay Lohan and Liz Taylor. There’s an actor’s guild you don’t wanna join! * This list of made-up foods in the Homestar Runner universe is terrifying. Piemonade? Gumball sandwiches?? * Elijah Wood on Yo Gabba [...]

Miss South Carolina explaining her previous goof-up: “My friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on our map. I don’t know anyone else who doesn’t.” Yeah, that cleared things up. I don’t know anyone who, uh, doesn’t not know, either. Yeah. The article also says this airhead is going to college [...]

Bill Maher interviews prez candidate Mike Huckabee. My fav part: MAHER: Now, in one of the debates, the question was asked of the ten Republicans on the stage, “How many of you do not believe in evolution?” And three candidates raised their hand. You were one of them. HUCKABEE: Mm-hmm. [affirmative] MAHER: So…[laughter]…you don’t really [...]

Lolcats lovingly stolen from Sleeping Cats.

The arrest report for Larry Craig’s lude men’s room act reads like weird voyeurism erotica: “I could see Craig look through the crack in the door from his position. Craig would look down at his hands, fidget with his fingers, and then look through the crack into my stall again… “At 1216 hours, Craig tapped [...]