TofuPunk.com | Ich mag kleine Kuchen und Cheeseburgers

Okay, you brainiacs, I need an answer to this ASAP: Who said that if the world’s wealth were equally distributed, it’d be right back in the hands of the original owners in a matter of months? (All post-1947 answers are disqualified– see below.) Is it just communism-bashing or a real economic theory? This is driving [...]

Rain-soaked links for your perusal…. * I like minimalism, but wow, a tankless toilet. It’s electric and costs, like, two grand… * I hate Canada today. Baby seal hunt began yesterday. 300,000 slated to be bludgeoned to death to meet international fur demand. Just loooove the accompanying photo of the blood-covered ice of Prince Edward [...]

Time is running out for the Vegetable Formally Known as Terry. It’ll be seven days today, if nutjobs with guns don’t interfere. She made it six days without a feeding tube in 2003. Will the death pool crowd be right for once? One more time, people: Advanced Directives. Living Wills. And a Last Will and [...]

Despite the rain ruining my plans to paint the fence this week, they’re predicing a dry summer for the Pacific Northwest. Washington’s governor declared a “drought state of emergency” (real thing!), and at least two Oregon counties are facing droughts already. But what can you do, besides returning that kiddie pool to K-Mart? Here’s my [...]

Bad news for Terry Schiavo’s family: Appeals court rejects request to start feeding her again. It’s off to the Supremes next, who’ve rejected the Schindler’s previous requests for help. Did you know only three Senators made it to the vote to allow the Schindlers to appeal in the first place? What ever happened to a [...]

* How can you tell it’s spring in America? When teenagers head to school and kill their classmates. * To commemorate Bach’s 320th birthday, music history students are walking 250 miles, as Bach did as a young man to get to a concert on time. * Office creator Ricky Gervais revealed in a recent interview [...]

I can’t be the only person who thinks an all-female 2008 prez race is terribly sexy. Imagine the new debate tactics, new issues, new surveys that would arise: What on earth would Bill be called– the “first husband”? Are single women less trustworthy than single or divorced men? The post-debate commentary alone would make it [...]

Congress and Bush signed something that will allow Terry Schiavo’s damn tube to go back in. Or, rather, it allows her parents to sue in fed court, NPR just informed me. Liberal blogs are claiming that Bush signed a law (while governor of Texas) that allows hospitals to pull the plug if the family can’t [...]

A little bit of this, a little of that… bam! You’ve got cyber stew! * If you haven’t seen an IMAX movie yet, you are missing out. We saw Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban at the Pacific Science Center. Wow! That’ll just ’bout spoil me for my tiny little TV… * Fellow Oregonians [...]

Happy second anniversary of the start of the Iraq war. 1,500 Americans dead. Take some of that leftover green beer and dye it red… ———————————————————————— To cheer myself up in these last days of winter, I will fantasize about founding Portland’s first Weird Movie Festival. Finish fixing up the house, buy a big-ass TV, and [...]